Ever since Lenore died I’ve made many attempts to describe the nature of the relationship we shared. It has proved impossible. It is beyond words.

Yesterday I sat outside, quietly regarding nature. When I’m feeling contemplative and connected I look over at Lenore, sitting near me, and we share the knowing smile and imperceptible nod to love and life we often shared at such times.  

Twin souls, twin flames, twin rays – there is a lot of strange and questionable information draped in spiritual jewelry, poesy and woo-woo about the nature of what we were, how we searched for and then found one another, what we grew into, what we became and experienced as two people who became one person – one full and complete and fully realized human being in two separate minds, spirits and bodies. I still try to describe it, and still fail.

What can I say? It’s real.

When I think about the early evolutions of my own spiritual growth through personal experiences and exposure to various denominations I realize that I retained the essence of the principles advanced in the churches and spiritual meetings I attended, while the expressions of denominational specialness or primacy tended to slough off as time went on.

I recall that there was a place on my path when I realized that, if I did not acknowledge the unknowable, unexplainable mysteries of spiritual connection which I had experienced, I was imposing limits on my experience here and living a limited life.

So I lived that way. I acknowledged my spiritual nature, thought about it, experienced it, grew into it, and realized it.

Now it all seems a dream, a thing conjured up in the pliable physics of an alternate reality, created by an observing mind weighing input on a personal scale of plus and minus values.

My reality beyond thought is the tree, the earth, the air and fire and water; it is the artifacts of history stored in my heart and woven into memory; and it is our love for one another, real forever and yet simultaneously slowly fading, like smoke in time’s wind.